The monster in the basement

April 2009 - One evening Monica ventured into the basement (which she was still a little scared of because Texans aren't used to being underground except for tornadoes or burials).  She came back upstairs and said that she thought it smelled more damp than usual.  So we went down with flashlights and were alarmed to find that part of the floor was reflecting back at us.  Yup, water.

For all your terlet needs

We traced the water back to the culprit - the hot water heater had ruptured.  I was immediately convinced that the previous owners stuck bubble gum on the bottom of the tank to make it not leak just long enough to sell the dump.  We killed the water line to it and immediately got on the phone to my brother who works for Ferguson - a massive national plumbing, lighting and fixture retailer - (but he tells people he sells "terlets" for a living) and ordered a new unit.  We'll be calling our boy at Ferguson many times throughout this house remodel for more orders.

Figure A - What not to do

We upgraded to a 50 gallon Bradford White Defender (because it sounds like it can kick some ass) Energy Star model from the previous bucket with a candle under it system.  Because we have natural gas service (and I had never done gas connections before), it was a little touch and go when we started checking for gas leaks.  Over a year later, my fingers are still crossed and we still have hot water, but to date, there have not been any (unexpected) explosions.

Appliances - Round 1

The Old "Mini" Fridge

March 2009 - Although you could chalk another one up to our "vision" for the house, when we bought it, the outdated kitchen was sorely lacking in modern conveniences.  Mainly, the only appliances present were an old almond colored builder's grade range and an apartment fridge so small that most college freshmen in the dorms would reject it.  Also conspicuously absent from the party were a dishwasher, microwave and disposal.  

The Upgrade

Monica made it clear that she would not be able live without a dishwasher.  In turn, I made it clear that I would not be able to survive with a fridge that could barely fit enough food for one feeding for me.  So we set about shopping the local big box stores looking for deals.  We found a massive dutch door, bottom freezer GE Profile stainless steel fridge at Best Buy that was a floor model.  We negotiated the price down $1,500 from the original MSRP.  At the same time, we also bought a GE Clean Steel tall tub diswasher, which, after our coupons and a sale price, was almost $200 off of the full retail price.  We also rang up my brother at Ferguson (more on his company later) and ordered an InSinkErator Badger 5 garbage disposal.  Randal had assured me that it was more than capacity than we needed and that he had frequently experimented with his smaller disposal by "feeding" it different items to watch it chop them up (knowing him, it was probably beer bottles and 2x4s, so I knew that was good enough).  

The Clean Steel Dishwasher

The appliances were all delivered and installed before we actually moved in to the house.  The massive stainless steel models we selected made our dilapidated 1920's kitchen look even more ridiculous.  Unfortunately, after a few months, we noticed that the door of the freezer didn't quite seal properly.  I finally got around to calling GE's customer service and a repair tech came out.  He looked at the freezer for about 3 minutes and informed me that he couldn't fix the issue.  Obviously disappointed, I asked where that left us.  He said "oh, it's no problem.  Just call GE on Monday and they'll send you a whole new fridge." 



The Replacement Icebox - It's
like getting a hug of
chilled goodness



As is often the case when I concoct a scheme to try get a deal, my loving wife assumed her traditional role of Doubting Thomas and assured me that there was some catch.  Turns out she was right, there was a catch.  When I gave the GE representative the model number of our fridge, she looked it up.  The lady apologized and said that was a 2007 model and they didn't make it anymore.  I explained that we had bought it new only a few months before, so she checked her notes and verified that.  She then apologized profusely again and asked if we would be willing to accept a 2010 model!  I almost fell out of my chair.  The brand new 2010 model was delivered a few days later for no charge and it continues to preserve our delicious meats and other necessaries to maintain my sustenance requirements. 

The Electric - Phase 1

Knob and Tube

March 2009 - When we signed our contract for the house, it was full of 1920's knob and tube wiring with a very old electrical service connection.  The 50 amp service panel only had six breakers for the whole house - which means that if I turned on my television, the house would have basically blown up and burned down (could have been an awesome 4th of July party effect though).  The old knob and tube wiring was a system of hot wires wrapped in cloth running through porcelain relays in the house.  It was basically one step more advanced than a kite string and a key.   It's potentially extremely hazardous if it gets disturbed, so that had to go.

Electrical Service Being Replaced Outside

So we negotiated with the sellers to have the service panel upgraded to 150 amp.  We wanted 200 amp and were willing to pay for it, but for some reason they refused.  We gave up and accepted the 150 amp. 



The Chandelier



During the month of March before we moved in, we had a team of electricians (Monica didn't trust me to do the wiring work - I didn't care for her lack of faith, but went along with it).  For many nights as we were sanding or working on other things, the electricians disconnected all of the wiring for the first floor and basement (we couldn't afford the second floor yet) and replaced it with modern lines.   They also installed several new light fixtures, including a stained glass chandelier and ornate ceiling medalion in the dining room.  Their work was capped off by wiring for a 7.1 channel home theater in the living room walls and speakers for the front porch and back yard.

The Plaster Horseman of Rogers Avenue

One of the unexpected joys of the electrical work being done came when the electricians started to cut into the old plaster walls.  On the first cut, one of the guys freaked out because he saw what appeared to be hair in the wall.  He jumped back because he thought it was some animal or mabye a dead body.  After some cautious investigation, we discovered it was actually horsehair that had been used in the old plaster for stability.  Ironically, for a little while after that discovery, Monica had dreams about horses in our house.  So far, we luckily have avoided any real life vengeful equine attacks.

The first project - Refinishing the floors

The Killer Old Carpet

March 2009 - As soon as we arrived at the house on the afternoon of closing with the keys in hand, we immediately started working. On the first day, we cut and ripped out all of the carpet throughout the house. Along with that came clouds of dirt and dust that had accumulated for forty plus years. Unbeknowst to us, the carpet was a much more powerful foe and apparently objected to being ripped out.  It was actually so strong, that it got Monica sick and she ended up in the emergency room the next day. She recovered quickly, but from then on we made sure to wear our stylish Darth Vader full-face respirators.   Nevertheless, the carpet lost that battle in the back of the garbage truck.

The Dining Room Floor - Before

Under the carpets were solid hardwood oak floors. Unfortunately, they had seen better days and had bizzare patterns left in the wood (we never figured out why), so we knew we had to sand and refinish them. Before that could start, we had to pull thousands of carpet staples out of the hardwood throughout the house. That process took well over a week even with multiple people helping. Each day after working a full day at the office, we would head over to the house and work on removing staples into the wee hours.  I also spent many nights contorted on the staircase, sanding the risers and treads by hand.  Thank God for the power of OCD ! 

The Living Room With Giant Sander - Before

Then one Friday in March, it came time to start the serious sanding. We had less than two weeks left before we had to move in, so we had to start refinishing the floors because the stain and polyurethane had to cure for at least a week before furniture could be put on it. So we rented a huge commercial sander from Home Depot and started work. We were both sleep deprived, so we stopped the very loud machine at about 10:00 PM on Friday night - also so our neighbors wouldn't call the law down on us. The next morning we were at Home Depot at 6:30 AM to pick up more supplies for the sander and then got to work. We kept sanding all day, some with the machine and some with a hand sander on our hands and knees.

The Living Room After Sanding

We returned the rented machine at about 6:00 PM, but we had to go back and keep working. At this point, we were literally dragging our feet we were so beat.  But every surface in the house was covered with fine saw dust, so we had to clean everything - that process took until about 11:00 PM that night. Because we were on such a tight timeline, we had to start staining the floors immediately. We worked on staining throughout the entire night - hands shaking from coffee and Red Bull - and finished as I stained us out of the front door at 5:30 AM the next morning. 23 hours of non-stop work on a house we didn't even live in yet!

That week we started applying the three coats of sealer. Monica picked out a low VOC organic product called Polywhey. It's actually a polyurethane type sealer, but it's made out of the byproducts of Vermont cheddar cheese. Yes, cheese.  My brother has since threatened to rub crackers on our floor to see if it tastes good (I have tried and it does not). Due to the March weather, the poly took longer to dry than normal, so we ended up having to move in before the floors had cured. That resulted in our downstairs furniture having to sit on the front porch covered in plastic for a week or so. I'm sure our new neighbors appreciated that redneck look.  All we needed was a Chevy on blocks in the yard and we'd have been perfect.

The Finished Product - Now With Extra Cheese Flavor!

Eventually we were able to enjoy the fruits of our labor (it was one of the most exhausting projects we have done) with the end result of the finished floors. But just as our luck would have it, we talked to a floor finishing company at an Old Home Show a week later and found out they could have done it professionally for about $100 more than we spent on our own materials and supplies. I almost stepped out into traffic after hearing that.  Lesson learned - never refinish hardwood floors ourselves again.

What did we get ourselves into?

The Living Room

February 2009 - Although we know that few people can appreciate just how bad our house was when we bought it, here is a selection of shots of how the house looked before we bought it. 

The living room featured dirty old teal-colored carpets that were at least 40 years old.  We later discovered large holes in the floor here and in the dining room from the old coal furnance vents that were hidden by the nasty carpet.  The fireplace was just an open hole, covered with years worth of soot and with a mesh screen hanging in front.  The windows (over six feet tall) were terribly old,  peeling (lead paint - mmm, mmm good!) and drafty (when the wind blew outside, the curtains would move).  The lovely window treatments throughout the house were just scraps of old material.

The Dining Room

The dining room was more of the same, with the dirty carpet and an odd hump in the floor (still trying to figure out how to fix that).  Dingy walls and a rusted two-bit chandelier rounded out this room.  At least the dingy walls extended up to ceilings over  nine feet high on the first floor.

The Gourmet Kitchen

The kitchen was a masterpiece of mid-century disastrous design.  Although the room is large, it is oppressed by horrible dark wood paneling, a handful of dirty original cabinets from the 1920's and a tiny apartment refrigerator (which certainly could not hold enough food to feed me).  Not even the super awesome almond-colored range could distract you from the lack of a dishwasher or disposal.

The powder room off of the bathroom was a tour-de-force of old lady decor.  Pink floor tiles and pink tiles halfway up the walls, with a blue sink sticking out of the wall.  The walls were accented by fantastic blue and pink flower wall paper which was covering even older brown, blue and pink butterfly wallpaper.

The Pink Room

The largest bedroom did feature a different carpet color from the teal elsewhere.  Unfortunately, it was pink.  But that perfectly complimented the Pepto-Bismol pink color, which was clearly a favorite of the previous owners, that adorned the cracked plaster walls.  The blinds here and throughout the house were so dirty (think inches of grime) that they couldn't be salvaged.  At least they covered the extremely drafty, peeling and broken old windows present up here too.

The Front Bedroom

Hooray!  The front bedroom had newer carpet, but unfortunately, we soon found it wasn't secured to anything.  It was just a remnant that was thrown in there.  Only later did we learn that it was covering a fist-sized hole in the floor that went oh so nicely with the cracked walls and ceilings.  The window treatments were more scraps of fabric draped over rusted curtain rods here too.

The Third Bedroom

The third bedroom was where the cracked plaster really had a chance to shine.  Large cracks (some over eight feet long) ran through the walls and ceiling and in some areas, the plaster was noticeably separating from the lath behind.  Another remnant of carpet was on the floor here, but this one was much older and didn't cover the entire floor.  The room also showcased the fabulous electrical system (1920's knob and tube) that powered the house, which included wire runs outside of the walls in metal moldings nailed onto the baseboards.

The Luxurious Bathroom

The one full bath was also amazingly non-functional and decrepit.  Again, there was only one sink jutting out from the wall that was barely big enough to wash your hands in.  The floor was covered in peeling linoleum tiles and the tub was actually sloped backwards away from the drain (you had to squeegee it out after a shower).  The walls were virtually covered with festive mold and mildew.

After looking at these pictures, I'm really not sure what we were thinking.  Although the structure of the house was sound, every single square inch of the interior needed to be redone.   

The Haunted House Barn

And then there was the old barn out back that was barely standing.  It had fairly significant termite damage and was leaning at a number of alarming angles.  Because of the dirt floor and the spooky old interior, Monica was afraid to even go inside of it.  It looked more like the set of a horror movie than a functional structure (I thought it was cool).  I mean really, who buys a property with buildings that you're afraid to step inside? 

I guess that would be us . . .

And so it begins . . .

January 2009 - Basically an hour after we got back from our honeymoon in October 2008, we started thinking about buying our first house. We waited until after Christmas to really get down to actually shopping for a property. Being the manic type-A people that we are, we researched literally 1,000's of properties. Our real estate agent/best friend/groomsman John had to deal with our insanity as we tried to find something perfect, but cheap. 

The Little Old House that Could

One cold night in January 2009, John (along with his wife Melissa, who was one of our bridesmaids) took us on our first showing. It was an early 1900's house on Rogers Avenue on the border of Pennsauken and Merchantville, New Jersey. It looked like a combination of bungalow, craftsman, and farmhouse styles. From the outside it looked great. Great facade, two stories, big old-fashioned porch, an old two story carriage house/barn out back and the neighborhood was full of beautiful old homes.

However, inside was a different story. Most of the interior was resplendent in the gaudy decor of the fifties/sixties and it was obvious that after a "renovation" some fifty years ago (which basically ruined all the historic character of the building), absolutely nothing had been done to the place. Dirty teal and pink carpets covered the old hardwoods throughout the house. The faux paneled kitchen (complete with chrome trimmed countertops with a bronze boomerang pattern) was terrible. Complementing the dingy old kitchen was a powder room with glorious pink tile floors and wainscoting, a blue sink jutting out from the wall and blue and pink flower wall paper up to the ten foot ceilings. The second floor was more of the same with cracked plaster and a full bath that even hobos would refuse to use. 

Melissa and Monica had only walked a few steps into the house when they saw a little built-in cabinet in the dining room tucked under the stairs. Melissa turned to Monica and said "you guys are going to buy this house." Given the state of disrepair of the house (we were also pondering a strange hump in the dining floor at the time), we laughed her comment off.

After seeing all these problems, we left and continued on with several more months of research and showings, and offers and rejections. Every time we started to feel overwhelmed by our quasi-impossible search criteria (everything for nothing), we both kept coming back to that quaint old house on Rogers Avenue. Finally, we completely lost our minds and figured "yeah sure, we can fix that house ourselves.  We'll just need to buy some awesome tools and it will be a piece of cake."  Famous last words.

So we bought it on March 9, 2009 and immediately started the work on the afternoon of closing. We quite literally haven't stopped working since. This blog tells the tales of our joy and horror, through clouds of sawdust and piles of rubble, as we work to restore (and live in) our little old house.